Calendar Of Events
2018-19 School Calendar
PEARLS OF LOVE AND LOGIC
Special Thoughts on Raising Kids...
Lying in childhood is a phase. However, if the phase is handled incorrectly by adults, the phase could develop into a life stance.
Many parents unconsciously make lying an issue by asking, “Is that the truth?” when there is really no solid reason to doubt the child. Sometimes when a child is dejected or down, parents may say, understandably, “What’s wrong?” The child will say, not wanting to talk, “Oh nothing.”
At this point, it is not wise for the parent to say, “Is that the truth?” or, Don’t you fib to me,” but to say instead, “Well if you want to talk, I’m here.”
The most common mistake parents make, is to try and force their child to tell the truth when the parents already know the truth. This almost always ends in a control battle that neither parent nor child feels good about. Often the child continues to lie, getting deeper and deeper into negative feelings with the parent.
Here’s how this parent avoids a control battle centered around stolen cookies by assuming the child knows the parent knows the truth of the situation:
Parent: “Robert, come here. What did I tell you about these cookies?”
Robert: “Not to eat them, but I didn’t.”
Parent: “What did I tell you?”
Robert: “Not to eat them.”
Parent: “Thank you! What did I say I was saving them for?”
Robert: “Paul’s Party.”
Parent: “Right. This hacks me off. You hit your room right now and think things over.”
Robert: “But…” Parent: “Where do you need to go to think things over?”
Robert: “My room.”
Parent: “Thank you!”
If parents know the truth, and try to get their child to admit it, it is a hidden way of saying, “I know you are going to continue to lie to me.” When a child has lied, restitution needs to be made. The consequence is handled coolly and as non-emotionally as possible so that when our children do tell the truth about a difficult issue, we can say, “Wow, I bet that was hard to say! Thanks for the truth!”
The emotion we have as parents is best reserved for when the child says or does something right. Children can be “convicted” and consequenced on strong circumstantial evidence. Parents who find a candy wrapper in a child’s room and allow the child to protest that no candy has been eaten, are almost asking for the child to lie. A wise parent says, “I always take empty candy wrappers as evidence a person has eaten one. I think you need to give the whole thing some thought. If you still need to think about it over dinner time, no big deal.”
Lastly, it is better to tell a child, “I don’t believe you,” than to say, “You’re lying,” It is easy for a child to argue he is telling the truth, but he can’t argue with the fact that you don’t believe him!
There are four basic rules for handling lying by children:
- Don’t try to force your child to tell the truth when you already know it! Generally speaking, trying to force the child, ever, to tell the truth is a control battle the adult will lose.
- Give your child more positive emotion for being honest than negative emotion for lying. Consequence lying without anger.
- Children may be consequenced for circumstantial evidence.
It’s better to tell children we don’t believe them than tell them they are lying.
©Love and Logic Institute, Inc.— www.loveandlogic.com–800-338-4065 Love and Logic® is a registered trademark of the Institute For Professional Development, Ltd. Permission granted for photocopy reproduction—Please do not alter or modify contents
The staff require all the parking spots at the back of the school in the parking lot and are having trouble finding parking spots... so please do not park along fence, when dropping off your child(ren) but double park behind staff vehicles. Parking is available on Birchdale Avenue in front of the school too. Also, please do not park in the spot reserved for the family who 'won' the parking spot at the Spring Supper... they have paid money to save that spot for them whenever they come to the school!
There are new blue bins in the front hallway by office to collect Tassimo cups, drink tabs, Canadian Tire money, and Campbell's Soup Labels. All of these items help save the environment and help the school out. Thank you for supporting us.
It is that time of year again where the snow trickles in and can cause wet spots on the floor. The students do not like wet socks and it can become hazardous. Please help us out and remove all outer footwear at the doors. This also helps to set a great example for the students.
Our grade 3 & 4 violins will be performing at the Forks Market and Kildonan Place Mall in the coming weeks. Thank you for all the student practice and parent drivers to allow it to happen.
Great job to our Grade 3 & 4 students who performed at the Hydro Building for the Festival of Lights on November 21!
Our Christmas Concert will be in a new format this year! As we tell the Christmas story of the Bethlehem Star we will have mini skits, videos, singing, violins and band performances! It will be an exhilarating experience that you won't want to miss. Our Christmas Story will take place at the Caboto Centre at 1055 Wilkes Avenue on Thursday, Dec. 18 at 6:30.
Students are to be at the Caboto Centre for 5:45 wearing their Christmas attire! (don’t forget a change of footwear). The concert will begin at 6:30 and will be followed by treats and fellowship. If you are able to donate Christmas baking we would appreciate it very much. If you are able to provide some treats, please let Mrs. English know at email@example.com with the subject line Christmas Treats. You can drop off the nut free baking the morning of Dec. 18 at the school and we will transport the items to the Caboto Centre.
Order forms went home last week for the Christmas Concert. Please return as soon as possible and no later than Dec. 12.
The Cash Raffle by the School Board is underway. Please see the office for a book of tickets to sell. The draw will take place the evening of the Christmas Concert (Dec. 18 @ 6:30). The first prize is $300, second prize is $200 and third prize is $100. Please help us raise $5000 for the playground. If we sell all the books at $2/ticket, we will raise $5000!