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2018-19 School Calendar
Principal's UpdateBEAUTIFUL SAVIOR LUTHERAN SCHOOL PRESENTS: PEARLS OF LOVE AND LOGIC
Special Thoughts on Raising Kids...
Lying in childhood is a phase. However, if the phase is handled incorrectly by adults, the phase could develop into a life stance.
Many parents unconsciously make lying an issue by asking, “Is that the truth?” when there is really no solid reason to doubt the child. Sometimes when a child is dejected or down, parents may say, understandably, “What’s wrong?” The child will say, not wanting to talk, “Oh nothing.”
At this point, it is not wise for the parent to say, “Is that the truth?” or, Don’t you fib to me,” but to say instead, “Well if you want to talk, I’m here.”
The most common mistake parents make, is to try and force their child to tell the truth when the parents already know the truth. This almost always ends in a control battle that neither parent nor child feels good about. Often the child continues to lie, getting deeper and deeper into negative feelings with the parent.
Here’s how this parent avoids a control battle centered around stolen cookies by assuming the child knows the parent knows the truth of the situation:
Parent: “Robert, come here. What did I tell you about these cookies?”
Robert: “Not to eat them, but I didn’t.”
Parent: “What did I tell you?”
Robert: “Not to eat them.”
Parent: “Thank you! What did I say I was saving them for?”
Robert: “Paul’s Party.”
Parent: “Right. This hacks me off. You hit your room right now and think things over.”
Robert: “But…” Parent: “Where do you need to go to think things over?”
Robert: “My room.”
Parent: “Thank you!”
If parents know the truth, and try to get their child to admit it, it is a hidden way of saying, “I know you are going to continue to lie to me.” When a child has lied, restitution needs to be made. The consequence is handled coolly and as non-emotionally as possible so that when our children do tell the truth about a difficult issue, we can say, “Wow, I bet that was hard to say! Thanks for the truth!”
The emotion we have as parents is best reserved for when the child says or does something right. Children can be “convicted” and consequenced on strong circumstantial evidence. Parents who find a candy wrapper in a child’s room and allow the child to protest that no candy has been eaten, are almost asking for the child to lie. A wise parent says, “I always take empty candy wrappers as evidence a person has eaten one. I think you need to give the whole thing some thought. If you still need to think about it over dinner time, no big deal.”
Lastly, it is better to tell a child, “I don’t believe you,” than to say, “You’re lying,” It is easy for a child to argue he is telling the truth, but he can’t argue with the fact that you don’t believe him!
There are four basic rules for handling lying by children:
- Don’t try to force your child to tell the truth when you already know it! Generally speaking, trying to force the child, ever, to tell the truth is a control battle the adult will lose.
- Give your child more positive emotion for being honest than negative emotion for lying. Consequence lying without anger.
- Children may be consequenced for circumstantial evidence.
It’s better to tell children we don’t believe them than tell them they are lying.
©Love and Logic Institute, Inc.— www.loveandlogic.com–800-338-4065 Love and Logic® is a registered trademark of the Institute For Professional Development, Ltd. Permission granted for photocopy reproduction—Please do not alter or modify contentsChristmas Concert InformationThe Christmas Star 2014 Christmas concert will take place at the Caboto Centre at 1055 Wilkes Avenue on Thursday, Dec. 18 at 6:30.Students are to be at the Caboto Centre for 5:45 wearing their Christmas attire! (don’t forget a change of footwear). The concert will begin at 6:30 and will be followed by treats and fellowship. If you are able to donate Christmas baking we would appreciate it very much. If you are able to provide some treats, please let Mrs. English know at firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject line Christmas Treats. You can drop off the nut free baking the morning of Dec. 18 at the school and we will transport the items to the Caboto Centre.Tickets will be sent home early this week. If you don't require all of the tickets you have ordered or if you require more, please let the office know ASAP.School Info:There are new blue bins in the front hallway by office to collect Tassimo cups, drink tabs, Canadian Tire money, and Campbell's Soup Labels. All of these items help save the environment and help the school out. Thank you for supporting us.It is that time of year again where the snow trickles in and can cause wet spots on the floor. The students do not like wet socks and it can become hazardous. Please help us out and remove all outer footwear at the doors. This also helps to set a great example for the students.
We look forward to watching the grade 3 & 4's performing at Kildonan Place this week. Thank you to the parent drivers who are accompanying us!Greetings from the Beautiful Savior Lutheran School Board,Please have all ticket books and money into the office by December 15. (TODAY!) Thank you for all your time, effort, and support. Good luck on the draw day. (December 18 @ 6:30 pm at the Christmas Concert)Yours in Christ, Sandy Katyrynuik, Beatrix Wolff